Crossdressing for me started in my very early teens with the discovery of a discarded pair of tights and silky slip at my aunt’s house. Later in my teens I remember getting hold of some lingerie of my own (cheaply made and horribly scratchy stuff) from the classified ads in the back of Exchange and Mart, but at least it was finally mine. Unfortunately, my parents promptly discovered this, and it had to be disposed of – gulp.

Once I’d moved out, I found the freedom to buy some items properly, though most of them were from Sex Shops and very much in the realm of fetish clothing (I remember a latex girdle for example and a pair of black patent court heels). I went through the usual buy/feel guilty/purge cycles for a few years.

I’d been through the purge and a ‘what are you doing with your life’ stage, shortly before I started dating the woman who would, a few years later, become my wife. I told her about my crossdressing within the first couple of months and we even went to London shopping for a few new PVC outfits, which for me was a mix of excitement and abject terror.

Since then (nearly 28 years) I’ve not purged again and so I’ve outgrown my storage space multiple times, and my tastes have changed dramatically. Don’t get me wrong I still love latex and PVC, but my tastes now cover more usual women’s clothing. My wardrobe includes several pieces of denim, which in the past I would never have considered owning – probably because I habitually wear jeans in ‘drab’ mode. I can’t really explain the shift (or widening) in my tastes, but I’m enjoying it.

Last year, 2025, was a watershed for me. After dabbling with makeup at home for a few years (with spectacularly poor results) I finally decided to take the plunge and see what a professional could do with me! 

I went to Jodie at The Boudoir London in March 2025, with my poor wife in tow (largely because we’d checked out of our hotel that morning, following a city break, rather than as purely emotional support). It was here I met Michelle for the first time. It was quite a revelation sitting there and seeing a ‘different’ person looking back at me – but it was also a wonderful, life-changing experience. Jodie made it such a stress-free experience that after just this single visit any reservations/nervousness I’d had about visiting someone for a professional makeover had totally evaporated and I wanted more!

With my first experience out of the way and my newly launched Instagram page (now that I was happy I wasn’t readily recognizable) I started talking to other girls in the community and targeted my next visit, this time with Patti at WowGals in Manchester.

I think it’s fair to say that Patti really brought out what I now think of as Michelle – I’m not sure what wizardry she performed, but it really was next level when I first saw myself in her mirror. We hear the word ‘literally’ a lot, and it’s generally misused, but I literally could have sat and looked at Michelle in the mirror all day – it sounds almost conceited, but I just couldn’t get enough of her.

I say on my profile that Michelle is my 10% alter-ego, but really, she’s with me far more than that now – but I certainly don’t get to look like her 10% of the time!

As I’ve mentioned I have FAR too much stuff in my wardrobes so it’s difficult to narrow down to a single piece. So, I’ll view this as an ‘if I had to start again, which piece(s) could I not live without?’, and that would have to be a satin blouse to pair with a latex, pencil skirt and black court-style high heels. I just love that “sexy secretary” look so much.

I’ve thought a lot about my identity over the years, and I really haven’t come to a clear conclusion. Obviously, I am by its very definition, a crossdresser but I don’t currently think I’m trans (I don’t feel I have gender dysphoria), though I might have gender-fluid traits.

I wish I could describe it, or attach a name to the emotion, but I find words so inadequate! As I’ve said before I could literally just sit and stare at my reflection all day, it’s totally different to looking at photographs of Michelle, because it responds to me seeing it, almost like some sort of happiness feedback loop – I feel happy, so I see a happy person looking back at me, making me feel happier etc.

It’s also an emotion you can see in others to – seeing other crossdressers in pictures and knowing that they felt the same way is mind-blowing.

What’s also weird is that even though the reflection looks so different to what I usually see in the mirror it doesn’t seem alien in any way.

During a photoshoot, Patti said something that stuck with me – she’d taken some pictures of me in drab mode and then as Michelle and she observed that I was far more natural in front of the camera as Michelle. The next day I was looking through the proofs and could see that in 95% of the drab mode pictures I looked uncomfortable, then I swiped to the first picture of Michelle and from nowhere, burst out crying. The difference we so visible in that single swipe – and that’s an emotional surge that I feel so frequently now, yet never in the past.

Massively – I’ve found crossdressing to be a very isolating activity. Mostly I’ve cross-dressed at home, alone, often late at night when everyone else is asleep. Until last year the only person who’d ever seen me dressed was my wife.

No matter how many times I’ve seen statistics saying how common crossdressing is amongst men, I’ve always felt like I was the only one and that at no point would I meet anyone who had the same feelings as me.

Instagram has changed that so dramatically, I find it hard to believe. I’ve communicated with a whole host of people from different walks of life, in different countries and in different situations – and although we are all wildly different, there are so many common threads related to our feelings and experiences with crossdressing. It makes you feel like you really are part of a much larger whole, and most importantly – not alone!

I’d like to say a massive thank you to all the wonderful people who make the community so special, and whilst I’m not going to name names (in the appalling fear that I’d miss someone out!) I really hope that you know who you are and what an effect you’ve had on me and so many others – I love you all!

Coffee or wine?

Skinny latte, unless I’m out-out, then a nice glass of Malbec would go down a treat.

Heels or flats?

Heels (though not ridiculously high as I’d like to keep my ankles unbroken) – I get to wear flats in ‘drab’ mode so why would I want them en-femme?

Bold lips or subtle gloss?

Bold lips – though this doesn’t mean it necessarily looks best on me!

I’ve been married for many years to my beautiful wife, and she’s supported me by coming to some of my makeovers, suggested outfits for me and allowed me time to explore being Michelle.

I do however have to add a rider of “semi-supportive” because it has caused us problems with the level of confusion I’m causing her. She’s confused by the change she’s seen in me over the years, worried about what it means for our relationship going forwards, nervous about Michelle being ‘discovered’ and annoyed that I spend too much time on my phone nowadays (interacting with friends in this lovely community).

I totally get the confusion, and I struggle to provide the needed level of reassurance because I feel it too and I don’t want to come across as a liar by saying something that later changes and becomes untrue.

The one thing I can say, with certainty, is that Michelle doesn’t change the way I feel about her…

I really want to try going out as Michelle – mainly to see if she finds it easier than I do in drab mode. I’m hoping that she’s the party animal that I’m not, but I’d be more than happy if she’s just less socially awkward.

I’m not someone who wants the opportunity to go back in time and change their life – I believe that everything in my life (good and bad) has gotten me to this point and that’s ok. But I would suggest, if you are reading this as a closet crossdresser, that you try a professional makeover, for me it showed my what practice could let me achieve and lit a fire in me. Be warned though, it can be incredibly addictive!

Who should I interview next? Drop a name in the comments.